Missy Cross

From terrorist threats to computer viruses, from muggings on the street to harassment in the workplace, there's no doubt that our modern society can be a challenging, if not downright frightening place. We do live in a dangerous world, and it's best to be prepared. There are many things you can do to keep yourself safe. With practice, you can protect yourself with confidence and reclaim your natural power.

Practical self-defense takes more than knowing a set of techniques; it's a mindset. You may already follow some critical self-defense strategies without even realizing it - like being assertive with a rude colleague in the office or letting your neighbors know you'll be out of town. Here is a simple framework for enhancing your personal safety in everything you do.

1. Attitude
Attitude is everything. Convicted felons who were shown 10-second video clips of women walking down the street almost unanimously agreed on which women they would attack and which they would avoid. Women who walked confidently and comfortably, showed awareness of their surroundings, and projected strength were considered unfavorable targets. Why? They looked like they'd be less easy to intimidate and more likely to put up a fight. By maintaining an attitude that you are worth fighting for, you project the kind of confidence that may well deter those with ill intentions - whether on the street or in the boardroom.

2. Awareness
By cultivating an awareness of your surroundings, you can often see a threat before it materializes, or identify some means to protect yourself in an emergency. Get in the habit of asking yourself these questions:

What are the potential hazards here? For example, if you're walking home alone late at night, are there dark places in your path to avoid? (Walk down the center of the street to be less accessible; watch for traffic, too.)

What resources are available? Identify people who can help you in an emergency (like neighbors), tools on hand to help you (like a cell phone), and objects to use in your own defense (like a lamp or a pen).

What do your instincts say? Our instincts have become honed over millennia of evolution. Your brain processes a staggering amount of information without bringing the vast majority of it to your awareness. Chances are, if you are getting a signal that something isn't right, it isn't. I was once walking down Connecticut Avenue in broad daylight with traffic zooming by and people around everywhere. A tiny, well-dressed woman walking in my direction set off alarms in my head, but I ignored them given the circumstances. Imagine my surprise when she took a sudden swing at my head! So, follow that vibe and get to a safe place. Even if nothing materializes, you'll be out of harm's way.

3. Planning
Many property and personal crimes can be prevented by taking steps to avoid being targeted by perpetrators. Here are a few tips to get you started:

To keep your home safe, control the access points. Have locks on windows and doors; don't open a door unless you know who's behind it; don't open building doors for people you don't know. Minimize hiding places with careful landscaping and outdoor lighting. Keep your house looking lived in when you're away. Install light timers, and have a neighbor pick up the mail and the paper. Most importantly, stay in touch with your community so you know what's going on. I was once mugged in front of my own house when walking alone late at night. Had I known that two other women had been attacked on our block that month, I might have been a little more careful and deterred the assault.

To keep your office safe, again, control the access points. Make sure doors that aren't directly attended by a receptionist or other personnel stay locked. If your office has a receptionist, make sure s/he has both phone and physical back-up close by. Minimize hiding places by locking unused offices and storing extra furniture. Have easy-to-use phones with emergency buttons and make sure everyone has been trained both to use the phones and deal with emergencies. Stay in touch with your colleagues and workplace community so you know what's going on. When you're in the office outside of regular business hours, know who else is there and keep doors locked. When leaving late at night, get an escort if you can. Make sure the coast is clear before you unlock your car - check for "company."

To stay safe in your car, check for company before you get in, and keep your doors locked. Plan your route ahead of time and know where you're going. Have your car regularly serviced, and carry emergency equipment like an emergency kit, flashlight, flares or reflective triangles, first aid supplies and basic tools (like a tire jack) in your trunk. Learn how to jump start your car and change flat tires; these are the most common forms of car trouble. It can also be helpful to belong to an auto club so you have someone reliable to call in any breakdowns. Of course, it's always a good idea to have a cell phone charged and ready, too. If you have to stop, use flashers or flares to divert traffic, and raise your car's hood to indicate mechanical trouble. Stop in a well-traveled, well-lighted area if possible and be cautious of assistance offers from casual passersby. If you're not in a safe area, stay inside your vehicle with the doors locked and wait for a police car to arrive.

On the street: Look assertive, confident, and aware of surroundings (no Walkmans!). Move comfortably; wear clothing that does not inhibit your natural gait, especially shoes. Keep keys accessible. Know how to use your voice and be loud if you are threatened. Noise is a powerful deterrent! For late night outings, remember: there's safety in numbers. If you are ever approached by someone threatening who wants you to go "somewhere," don't go. You're much safer running away. Even if the assailant has a gun, your chances of being fatally shot while escaping are much lower than your chances of being seriously hurt by the assailant if you comply.

4. Assertiveness
Assertiveness is a lot more than a buzz word for today's Wrrl - it's a powerful weapon. Intimidation, threats, and assaults are generally perpetrated by individuals who need to control others to feel powerful themselves. The last thing they want to deal with is a strong woman who stands up for herself. Assertiveness is conveyed both verbally and nonverbally, so pay attention to your words and body language. Move comfortably and with authority; don't be afraid to take up space. Set boundaries clearly with other people. State what you want, and ask for help when you need it - whether it's to complete an assignment or to fight off an unwanted advance. By the way, self-defense programs used to recommend yelling "Rape!" when threatened on the street, which became "Fire!" when statistics showed the former cry was less effective. Now there is some debate that "Fire!" makes people think of rape and may be less effective. Instead, enlist someone specific in the vicinity: "Hey, you - gentleman in the orange shorts! Please call the police, this man is attacking me!"

5. Weapons
If you are confronted with a threat that the first 4 strategies can't defuse, you still have plenty of options. This is where your physical defenses come in. Your body has more than a dozen weapons on it to keep you safe, like your knees, elbows, and hands. At the same time, an attacker's body has more than a dozen vulnerable targets you can strike, like the eyes, nose, knee, and groin. Know what your tools are - and practice using them.

6. Training
The best way by far to do this is to get practical self-defense training. Martial arts, while effective, can take years to learn to perform properly, and seldom provide practice for dealing with on-the-street scenarios. In the DC area, the DC Self-Defense Karate Association and DC IMPACT offer comprehensive self-defense training programs that are specifically tailored to women and are taught in highly supportive environments. Many police precincts also offer self-defense programs for their communities. There is a great deal of information out there, and a great deal of myth too, about how to act in threatening situations. Getting trained will give you the answers you need for yourself.

7. Self-reliance
Ultimately, personal safety starts with you. Don't depend solely on other people to take care of you; they may not always be there when you need them. Don't rely exclusively on security devices like alarms, mace, pepper spray, guns, etc. These tools are weapons, and it takes regular practice to be able to use them effectively. They may not be accessible when you need them, and it is possible to have then taken away from you and used against you. Weapons can also create a false sense of security that could actually make you more vulnerable.

In the event that you are or have ever been assaulted, remember: it's not your fault. Get yourself to safety as quickly as possible. Call 911 to get assistance and file a police report. Get medical attention. If you are the victim of a sexual assault, do not bathe, douche, shower, brush your teeth, eat, drink or change your clothes. Get a medical report from a hospital if you think you might file a police report (you don't have to decide immediately). The police will need clues from your exam and your clothes to gather evidence for your case. Most importantly, get some counseling or talk to a close friend to deal with feelings about the assault. Locally, the DC Rape Crisis Center at 202-333-RAPE offers confidential services in a supportive environment. The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE also has resources for dealing with issues of relationship abuse.

Ultimately, a practical knowledge of self-defense gives you more choices for how to function and respond in a world that grows more complex and uncertain by the day. Taking responsibility for our own personal safety, and knowing how to fight when we need to, gives us Wrrls the same power in our personal lives that we wield so well professionally.

Missy Cross is a freelance writer, massage therapist, and former self-defense instructor. For more information about this or other articles, please contact her at MissyCrossMT@aol.com.