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Women who dress in a sexually provocative way in the workplace make me angry.

I am angry because I personally know how hard it has been to gain the not-yet-equal level of respect women have in the workplace. I am angry because every woman who willfully flashes her body in the workplace reinforces all the mindless stereotypes about women that the rest of us have to overcome.

It is true that some men and some women may find anything provocative, whether at work or not. Bless everyone's preferences in their personal life. Anyone may also innocently trigger an attraction or a sexual reaction in another person even when they are dressed appropriately.

However, women who deliberately use clothing to provoke sexual attraction or reaction in the workplace are not innocent. These women know that the clothes are provocative, and for some very sad reasons choose to wear them anyway. And all the rest of us are affected by these women's bad choices.

Most women have a story about women who dress in a provocative manner in the workplace. I have had to take a safety pin to a young woman and tell her bluntly to use it to close her blouse. I once interviewed a woman whose clothes were so short and so tight that she had to struggle to get out of the chair! We probably have all seen this behavior, or even worse, on the job. Women find it very uncomfortable as well as infuriating.

What about our coworkers -- how do men feel about provocative dress in the workplace? I asked some male colleagues, decision-makers and men in positions of power, and here are some representative responses:

"The environment is such that men are too afraid to be overt in their behavior while women feel free to act as they please."

"Those of us in positions of responsibility hate it, at least at work.  I enjoy looking as much as the next guy, but I don't want to see it at work."

"This can be the double standard…Where does the line in the sand get drawn and by whom?  Who decides this far and no farther?  Let me know when the column is out, I need to read it!"

Serious men have as much problem with deliberately provocative dress in the workplace as serious women.

How is sexually provocative workplace clothing defined? I can offer only my opinion. Just as I am not a member of the fashion police, I am not a member of the provocative police either. I would recommend common sense. (1) Does the clothing make others uncomfortable? (2) Is the clothing intended to provoke sexual attraction or reaction in the workplace?

If the answer to both questions is yes, I believe the clothing is not appropriate for the workplace.

What should you do if a woman wears provocative clothing in the workplace? First, take a fairness test of your opinion and determine, without generating unnecessary gossip, if you are the only person who finds the clothing inappropriate. The best way to gauge this is to have a private, confidential conversation with your supervisor. If you are the only one who finds the woman's dress inappropriate, then you must re-examine your reaction carefully.

If you are not alone in your opinion, and others find the dress provocative, there is only one decent choice: the woman must be told. Her supervisor should tell her about this problem, just as her supervisor should tell her about any other workplace problem -- clearly and confidentially. Provocative dress in the workplace is a management issue.

This message hardly will be well received or appreciated. The woman most likely will be angry, hurt, embarrassed, defensive and perhaps defiant. Despite these risks, addressing the problem is better for the woman, and for all women in the workplace, than the silent snickering and inappropriate tolerance that would otherwise continue unabated.

I said in an earlier column: "It is true that for women there are special traps that men do not have to consider when they dress for work each day. That is another fact that is not going to be wished away…Instead, learn what they are and act appropriately." Every person's individual rights have to honor the rights of other people. In the workplace we all share a common community in need of this respect and deference.

Act appropriately is still the best advice.